Being Intentional

I've recently been really convicted about my life and it's lack of direction.  I am going to write this post and hopefully I'll be able to adequately explain what is going on in my heart and mind.

I've never been very good at sharing my heart with people unless specifically asked and to be honest I have lived most of my life being invisible.  It's what got me through public High School and since I am a shy person it's been my way of staying in my comfort zone.  The problem is I look back now and wonder how much glory did my life bring to God?

When Mike passed away I never once questioned God.  I knew God's plan was perfect.  I knew God didn't make mistakes and I knew God was in control.  Did I understand God's plan?  Not at all, but my faith was in my loving, all powerful, all knowing God.

A few months ago I received an email which made me think that maybe I was giving people the wrong impression of my life.  The email was from someone concerned that I had closed my mind and heart to the possibility of remarrying.  I have searched my heart and I believe I am open to remarrying but as a woman I don't believe my role is to actively seek a man; so I am leaving it in the Lord's hands to bring a Godly man into my life, if He so chooses.

Being a young widow is hard.  There really isn't a book out there for going through life as a young widow.  So I find myself feeling lost and without direction in my life.  You see, ever since I can remember, all I have ever wanted to be was a wife and mother.  Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying I am not content in this season of my life but I also can't deny that God made me to be a help meet.  So what lies ahead for me?  What should I be doing with my life?

Well, I don't think I really explained things very well but it's the best I can do right now with all the thoughts in my head.  Please pray for me as I continue to seek God's will for my life.  That I may get clear direction in what He wants me to do next and that I may take each day and live life intentionally for God's glory!

Thank you for letting me share my heart with you and thank you for praying for me.