…marks the 4 year anniversary since Mike went to heaven. One thing I've definitely learned in these last 4 years is that grieving lasts a different length of time for each person and everyone grieves in different ways.
For me, I would say this has been my hardest year so far, and I guess it's because the loneliness has hit me harder. You may not be able to understand how I can be lonely in a house full of people especially when they try so hard to not make me feel left out.
Not having a husband these past 4 years has shown me how much of a balance Mike was for me. The longer I go without a husband, the more I wonder what is God wanting me to do with my life because I feel very out of balance.
This has been a year of health trials for me and I don't know what is going on but I keep reminding myself that God is in control. In some ways I feel like my joy is gone and I know that is not true because true joy comes from the Lord. Mike would often say to me that his job was to make me laugh every day. Oh how I miss that!
In memory of Mike and his love for Christ and chickens, I will be doing my annual buying of chickens but because of my seizures, I will not be fasting from food, however I will be focusing more this entire month on spending more time in the Word seeking wisdom on the direction of my life/future.
I want to glorify God in all I do and I want my life to bring Him glory!