Friday, August 1, 2014

This month...

…marks the 4 year anniversary since Mike went to heaven.  One thing I've definitely learned in these last 4 years is that grieving lasts a different length of time for each person and everyone grieves in different ways.

For me, I would say this has been my hardest year so far, and I guess it's because the loneliness has hit me harder.  You may not be able to understand how I can be lonely in a house full of people especially when they try so hard to not make me feel left out.

Not having a husband these past 4 years has shown me how much of a balance Mike was for me.  The longer I go without a husband, the more I wonder what is God wanting me to do with my life because  I feel very out of balance.

This has been a year of health trials for me and I don't know what is going on but I keep reminding myself that God is in control.  In some ways I feel like my joy is gone and I know that is not true because true joy comes from the Lord.  Mike would often say to me that his job was to make me laugh every day.  Oh how I miss that!

In memory of Mike and his love for Christ and chickens, I will be doing my annual buying of chickens but because of my seizures, I will not be fasting from food, however I will be focusing more this entire month on spending more time in the Word seeking wisdom on the direction of my life/future.

I want to glorify God in all I do and I want my life to bring Him glory!



2 comments:

Kristi said...

You are such a blessing to our family! The pain you walk through is very real and I am blessed by your heart and vulnerability! Praying for you, that you find the One who allowed this pain is ever close to you in His Word and by prayer! Praying that as you walk this road of healing and grief you can find HIM all sufficient. As your heart longs, may you find rest in His Word! And as you walk through days of loneliness may your JOY grow ever complete in our Father! Praying for you as you continue to heal. May your dark days grow brighter from your special time with Christ and His Word! Thinking of you - Lizzie!

Linda said...

Oh, Lizzie, you are an inspiration! I don't know how you do everything that you do, but we can see the Lord in your life. I'm so glad you have your family around you, and I count you as part of my family.

I pray our Lord will give you peace and comfort. He loves you!